mellie cantabile. **supercat

17 months.

2010-10-17T01:16:00.000-07:00

17 months later and so much has happened. from falling apart to coming back together..
if i wrote a novel about it, it'll probably 200 pages long already. hahaha!
well, yesterday was the celebration of us being 17 months together. Yes, we do celebrate it every month. :)
here's what he sent me from Singapore!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4142990&id=743078893

go check it out :)

i dont know. ):

2010-06-08T09:37:00.001-07:00

i dont know who i can talk to. and i dont know if i do. all i know is my mind's a mess. my heart too. i feel so torn. it hurts me everytime i hear those words. sometimes, i feel like giving up, taking a few sleeping pills just so i can fastforward to the next day. or the next week. the part where things are alright. and the tugging in my chest. that wrenching in my stomach, it's sooo.. painful. ever since we went steady, heartache is no stranger for me. i know i love him so much because no matter how big the fight is, i still cant bring myself to think that i want someone else. i dont know how he can. and it just breaks my heart. it hurts me so bad, sometimes i wish i can just close my eyes and sleep. for as long as i want to. how am i supposed to feel safe about him being in a another country when he's saying things like that already? it's like, when i want to feel jealous i'm afraid to do so because i'm scared he might find another girl who isn't the jealous type and dumps me for her.and if i want to voice out what i have to say i'm afraid he might find a girl over there who wouldn't voice out her opinions and he might dump me for her. when you read this you might think i'm being dumb. so stupid. but i cant help it. i know there are many fishes in the ocean, but i DONT WANT other fish. i just want him. can't i just be given that??

hi.

2009-10-16T19:41:00.000-07:00

i'm okay. so far. (:
will post more next time.

done-zo

2009-09-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

today, well technically, yesterday, on the 12th of september,

i broke up with him.
can;t stop crying, can"t sleep.
i'm a mess.

why don't you ask me where i'm hurting?

2009-09-04T08:06:00.000-07:00

All i can say is that,
today,
is the i-don't-know-number-of-times i've cried as we were on the phone.
and he doesn't know i was crying.

-Mel

BFF? right.

2009-09-01T02:56:00.000-07:00

never knew the person who i thought would be there for me isn't there for me when i needed someone most.
never thought that the person who was there for me is someone i HARDLY EVER TALK TO.
it's just so weird.
ahhahahha.
:)
i wish i'm back in s'pore.
and i can talk to my gals there.
and my neko family.
i think i would feel so much better.
feel like everything's crap now.
i'm trying to learn to accept everything that comes my way though..
even if it's so hard..

my boyfren's getting crappy, my "BFF"'s getting crappy,
my mom's getting crappy, EVERYTHING is getting crappier.
darn.
i really wish i don't have to face all of it.
*sigh*
miss vinessa. and my neko family.
):
so much to pour out..
but.. yet i don't know why i can't tell anyone everything.
it's like, i feel like i can't tell them..
i really wish i can talk to vinessa mama and my neko fam.
*SIGHHHH*

well,
gtg rot.
ta..

She's bein' a bitch.

2009-08-04T04:26:00.000-07:00

been reeeeeeeel busy lately.. so haven't been able to blog.
ajhahahahhaha.
well,
my mom, my sis and i strted our own business already.
am officially teaching.
little children.
hahaha.
teaching english.
:)

oh well,
it's actually fun.
hahahhahah.
they're all soooooooooooooo cute.
like, i wanna put them in my pocket or sumthin..
ahhahahhaha.

and,
i officially feel like i can't well,
really understand what's goin thru my mom's head.
she's bein' a (pardon me please), royal pain in my butt.
she's scolding me evry single (pardon my language again) f*cking day and you know what else?

she's not letting me meet my bf.

all because she thinks i'm not working enough for the business.
but that's so not bloody true!!
WTH!
i do all my duties,
i have lost my voice from teaching so much and!!!
i also have met my bf lesser because i wanted to fulfill my duties there.
and she still claims i "don't strive hard" enough!
dang.
then what am i supposed to do?
everything?????!
then what's my sister for?
what is SHE for??
well she blamed my sister also so i guess that's fair.
but what is HER job then??
sit @ home and watch tv??
fine, she's the one who meet the preschool teachers we work with but,
other than that???
finance is handled by my sis and i.
teaching is also done by my sis and i.
admin is also done by my sis and i.

dang.
i'm not complaining cos there's a lot of work to do.
i'm complaining cos since there's a lot of things to do,
a day off a week to go out with my bf should be okay..
right?????

this whole not allowed to meet him thing made him real scared u know..
made him think that my mom dont like him and don't agree with our relationship.
i don't want him to worry.
this whole thing made me realise how deep my feelings are for him.
yeah.. vinessa mama is right.
just makes me miss him more. :)

idon't know what i'm thinking.

2009-06-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

i...
have something i'd like to confess.

i just have this teeny tiny feeling that i ..
don't love him no more.

i know it's a terrible thing to think about but..
well,
i just have that small thought in my head.

i know i DON'T want to lose him but,
i feel like.. he's not there anymore.

he's in genting now, on a holiday.
he'll be goin to s'pore after that for a while..
and i know i'm supposed to miss him terribly but..
i ..
don't. sometimes.

and i don't feel like, lost or confused or anything.
i just feel like.. everythings normal.

maybe it's because he doesn contact me often since it costs a lot.

i just ... don't know.
but who knows? maybe when he comes back here, i'll realise that i actually DO still love him and i was just illusioning the stuff i was thinking before.

later!
mel.

blank.

2009-06-24T04:00:00.000-07:00

well,
we made up.
taht's all i felt like saying.

cos ..
well..
there other things for me to worry about.
and one of them,
about the fact that...

i don't know why but i can't feel......
satisfied with the friends i have.
i'm talking about the friends i have here anyway.

i don't like telling everyone about my personal stuff but i wouldn't mind sharing with one or two of 'em.
but somehow,
i don't seem to be able to find anyone trustworthy enough for me to pour my heart out to.
different from my friends in s'pore and m'sia..
though i can't trust EVERYONE, at least i have a few i can REALLY trust.

i just feel so..
confused.
and stressed.
and , well,

alone.

and i hate this feeling.
it's just that... i don't know what i should do. or WHO i can talk to.
i don't even feel i can talk to my own BOYFRIEND.
i think that he won't be able to understand.
ever since i moved school,
i think i'm becoming an introverted person.
it's killing me.
it REALLY is.
those who know me really well will know that i'm not like that. AT ALL.

i just wish all this horror would end.
hope i can learn a ton through this tough time.

smell ya later.
mell :)

wtcrap.

2009-06-19T13:17:00.000-07:00

Today..
we fought.
for the third time.
in one month and ... 2 days.
we have fought for three times already.

first two,
fine, if ALL the blame is put on me,
i'm not gonna bother so much about it.

but this time round,
i'm NOT goin to take ALL the F-ing blame again!

cos i WASN'T the one who started it ok.
he's just not SENSITIVE ENOUGH to notice that i'm actually not in the mood and i WANT TO BE ALONE.

it all started when he said he MAY have to go out of town till sunday..
he said that we could still meet on Saturday morning..
@ first i was pooped out.. yeah well it's rational because i only get to see him ONCE a freaking week and i think that is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY LITTLE.
PLUS, he's goin to s'pore&genting next week.
for a WHOLE week.
that means we're goin to meet each other even lesser..
right??

but then i thought, oh well, his family asked him to so i can't really do much about it..

and who in the CRAP knows that he suddenly sms-ed me and told me that he was on his way out of town at that moment.
i didn't get what he was saying in the first place cos his msg was like this,
"Nooo.. i'm going to puncak."

any SANE person who reads this msg would think that he would be going tomoro(saturday) right??
since he said that he was goin to go tomro(saturday) before..
right??
Cheese knows he actually meant TONIGHT.
which is Friday night.

i didn't know that he meant TONIGHT so i asked him what time we could meet tomro since he said we could meet in the morning.
then he sent me an sms that made me ANGRY.
cos his tone sounded nasty.
he wrote, "i'm on my way to puncak now! goin back sunday. don't you get it miss? hehe."
if u were me,
what would your reaction be??????????

watthecrap man. URGH.
crap right????
then i told him,"sory lah if i don't know. playin arcade now. bye"

then he didn't reply.
i was so pissed man.
urgh.
wthell.

so i went to go play with my sis n her bf untill we were like, running to buy snacks for our movie cos we got abit carried away playing in the arcade.
hahahhahahhaha.
i didn't want to send him a msg saying the movie's starting.
but then, JUST before the movie started,
i felt like,
i shouldn't be like this man..
i don't wanna blow this outta' proportion.
so i excused myself out of the cinema and i sent him a msg.
i stood outside the cinema for HALF AN HOUR man.
cos crap timing,
network error.
i couldn't send a msg to him..
to anyone.
all falied.
i tried a lot of times but all end up with the same results.
then i got frustrated..
i thought,
o well, i'll explain to him later.
he should understand that it's not my fault the msg couldn't be sent.

so i watched the movie,
without ease.
i kept on thinking about him and his feelings.
i'm not trying to be a saint here but it's the truth!
the last two times we fought,
he kept on saying that i was NOT CARING enough and i always neglect him and DIDN'T APPRECIATE him.
fine,
if those two times he thought like that.
but that is actually not FU*KING true !
cos if i didn't care or appreciate him,
i wouldn't have bought him a bag of snacks cos i thought he would be hungry after going to the gym.
i wouldn't think about him and be selfish and want to go whereever i wanted to go on our dates.
so far,
everytime he asks me where I want to go,
he always ends up changing the location!
everytime he asks me if he has ever did anything wrong in our relationship when he's trying to blame me i would keep quiet and let him win!
and i did that because i didn't want to blow our quarrel out of proportion!
not because there's NOTHING i don't like about him.

so after the movie ended,
i IMMEDIATELY sent him a msg.
and his reply?
"not asleep yet.yeah.ok."

ass right??
u know what's ASS-ier???
when i asked him where he was,
he said,
"not goin. @ home now."
then he continued his msg, " i'm confused. how do i make u appreciate me more? jus now u said u wanna go paly arcade, fine. then after playing before watch can't you send me an sms? we're always fighting over this kinda stuff. Weird."

again, appreciation topic.

i was pissed. i replied,''not that i didn't tell u anything yea... but just now there WAS an error with the network and signals. i tried sending u a msg but it couldn't be sent. until the msg my mom sent me also i cannot reply. from just now also she keep on calling me asking me where i am. sory lah if there was something wrong!"
my sorry there was actually sarcastic.
it's ... an indonesian thing. hahahhahahha.

his reply,''it's like this, i don't need u to say sorry all the time. if u know you're wrong, try to improve yourself lah please. i'm not perfect or anything but just see, how many times have you done the same thing? whatever lah. just go sleep."

ASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
pissed man when i read that msg.

i replied,''it's not like i didn't TRY to send you a msg okaaay?? i even purposely went out of the cinema to send you a msg but still couldn't. if you don't believe me it's up to u."

and then he didn't reply.
did i do it wrong?
i don't get it.
i just don't FU*KING get it.
i really don't get it.
i don't know how much EFFORT i have to put in until he says that i am CARING AND APPRECIATIVE enough.
i hoped he would understand that this time i TRIED.
i REALLY DID.
He just don't want to understand that.
it's ripping my heart apart man.
i REALLY REALLY REALLY don't get what the fu*k i have to do.

i DON'T want anything to happen to this relationship because of this whole thing man.
it's 4a.m now.
can;t sleep because of all this sh*t.
crap.
tomoro's saturday.
i MAY not go out with him.
if we haven't patch up that is.
i just wish he would be more open about this..

he wants me to TRY SOOO HARD.
but i don't see him trying.

i'm gonna go weep now.
good morning guys.
sad schmellers

saying goodbye..

2009-06-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

and today,
the babysitter that has been with us for 5 years went back to her kampung..
to get married and start her very own family..

how fast time has passed.

she cried when she said goodbye to us.

i didn't know why i didn't cry.

maybe 'cause ...
i'm so used to saying goodbye to people.
LOL

suddenly it has made me realise that there really is no such thing as 'forever' when it comes to relationships.
people will come and go in your life and the only one who would stay with you from the very first moment you open your eyes till the very moment you close your eyes would be...

well,

God.
think about it.. it is true.

later guys..
i gtg think about how i'm gonna survive without a babysitter.
hahahha.
mell<3

WHEW.

2009-06-13T09:07:00.000-07:00

a few more days..
just a few more days.....

and...
i'm gonna have my FIRST MONTH-SARY!!!!
ahahhahahhahahahahha
feel so happy!
this would be the FIRST time i'm dating someone for a month!
XD
ahahhahahhahah.

feel like i've accomplished something great ya know.....
:D

dang dang dang..
YAY!!

gotta find a present man..
i d k what to buy.
urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. T-T

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
gtg sleep now!
tata!!
: D
mell.

Finally. Congratulations and Jubilations.

2009-05-22T05:58:00.000-07:00

I HAVE BIG NEWS.

IF YOU PEEPS HAVENT SEEN MY FACEBOOK PROFILE,
YOU GUYS WILL NOT KNOW THAT..

I HAVE GONE STEADY WITH MICHEL PUTRA.

the guy i have been talking about in the last few posts.

YEESSSS!!!!
wahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahha.
actually all this while,
he's been feeling the same way as i do.
it's just that..
he hasn't got the nerve and chance to get nearer to me!!

but i didn't like the way he asked me to be his gf..
not romantic.
and it was in BURGER KING.
whahaha.
i was eating teriyaki burger and he was eating mushroom swiss.
:D
evening. around 6++.
wahhahhah.

16/05/09

o MY CHEEEESSSSEE!
dang.

everyone!!!!
please pray that him n i will last forever!!
XD
i hope i dont EVER have to look for another guy.
i hope he's the one.

smell ya later!!
mel.

occupied mind.

2009-05-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

i...
can't wait to start a serious relationship with him now cos....

HE TOLD ME HE LIKES ME!!!

YAYYYY!!!!!!!\OMYCHEEEEEEESE

I think i'm dying of happiness.
XD
wow.
wow.
wow.
wow.

ahahhahhahahha.
have been busy lately,
cos i'm helping my mom out wif her business.
ahahhahah.
and..
i'm looking for a neww uni to enter.
XD

yes yes yes!!
:D
feel so happy now that God have answered my prayers.
about finding a noce guy n everything .
yay!

ajahahhahahha.
ltr!
schmell.
:D

what? ups and downs. dang.

2009-04-20T08:18:00.000-07:00

okay.
our relationship is rrrrreally like katy perry's song, 'hot 'n' cold'.
dang.
ahahhahahhahah.

i dont care though.
i dont what to think anymore.
so i think i'll just go with the flow.
:3

well,
tomoro's his burfday!!!
and..
i got no idea what to buy him.
decided to buy him a shirt.
from giordano or pull and bear.
aaarrrrggghhh..
m SO not good at present hunting.
ahhahahahha.
dang.
dang.
dang.

hmmph.
well,
now,
i can say we're closer,
i can also say we're not closer.
so it's kinda confusing.
wjahhahahhaha.
dunno how to explain.
hahah.

well,
reeeeeeeeeaallly tired now.
later people!
mellie.
:3

sadness brings out something in me that makes me wanna write my book again.

2009-04-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

i am feeeeelin' crappy.

because i'm being hung on the line.
does he like me too?
or does he not?

he better not play with my feelings!
cos he assured me that he has changed.
that he's not a playboy anymore.

but sometimes..
other people's words can't be trusted.

and i WANT to trust his words.
but sometimes i find it hard.
i don't know why.

if he's not serious,
i just wish he'll stop being nice to me.

i'm trying to live my life without thinkin much about him.
i dont wanna depend so much on him,
cos i know it'll hurt if suddenly he has another gurl.
or if he never gives me a confirmation as to where our relationship is gonna lead to.

life sucks.
but you have got to suck it up and be strong.

that's what i'm tryin to do.

maybe all this sadness will help inspire me to continue my book.
haha.

later pipps!
schmellers

something for u meimei.

2009-04-09T04:58:00.000-07:00

my first try!!
XD
i'm gonna workharder!!

gogogo melliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!!

new interests.

2009-04-09T04:21:00.000-07:00

IT'S OFFICIAL!
i'm definitely going for it.

I ADMIT IT.

I

LIKE

HIM.

and i don't think i'm gonna change my mind anytime soon.
GOGO MELLIE GOO!!
wahahahahhahahhahha!

pray for me guys!
it's gonna be tough.
cos well..
he used to be a playboy.
whether he still is or not that's still a mystery.
he claims he isn't anymore though.
i'm trust him.
=3

but damn it,
sometimes he shows me sooooooooooo much attention and at times he shows me soooooo little attention.
damn it!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!

sheesh.

and i like him so much.

i.. am speechless.

T-T

help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~!!!!

now,
a shoutout for my dearest meimei..

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS YOUUUUUUUUU~~!!

AND!!

i will post a new post for you next time.
haha.

i wanna go learn how to edit fotos first.
wahhahahha.

XD

toodles people!
mellie.

hmmmm...

2009-03-26T04:50:00.000-07:00

today, i went out with him, and my bestest" fren.
heehee.
but only for a short while.
teehee.

it was nice.
and......
i feel sad all of a sudden.
not sad.
worried actually.

that he might not like me.
it's really worrying me.

That's because ..
well,
i don't really know.

the thing i'm really sure about is that,
this is the FIRST time i'm feeling like this for anyone.
i mean really..
nekos know me!!!
i always judge the people who try to get near me by their looks!
if they're not goodlooking,
i wouldn't give them the time of day.

but this time...
he's not that good looking,
he's not tall.

and i somehow,
am falling for him.
REAL HARD.

cheese.
and i spend 99% of my day worrying about his feelings for me.
haha.
i am a worry wart.
but..
idk..

it's just different this time.

*sigh*
i even don't care about his past!
(i know a lot.)
hahahha.
he told me.
his "bad" past.

i can tell..
it's different..
gtg worry.
later!
mellie.

Ohmycheeeeese.

2009-03-25T19:16:00.001-07:00

i just lost my aunt.
damn.
SO SUDDEN.
damn.

this morning,
going online..
my fave aunt called me and told me she wanted to talk to my mom ASAP.
i followed.
my mom was sleepiing so i told my aunt she was sleeping.
my aunt said..
this is VERY URGENT.

then she said,
softly,
"TANTE SUSY MENINGGAL."
(which means 'Aunt susy has passed away.")

i was so shocked.
damn.
so i shook my mom and she shooed me away..
but when i told her what my fave aunt said,
she immediately opened her eyes wide, sat up and grabbed the fone from me.

this thing happened so sudden.
but it's good though..
she wouldn't need to feel pain anymore.
she's been diagnosed with cervical cancer.
my mom prayed for her EVERY weekend.
i waish everything would turn out the other way,
her being healthy and her being able to take care of her 2 teenage daughters.
i pity them.
their dad divorced their mom and married another woman.

but aunt susy should've listened to my mom and drank medication and think positive.
instead she got depressed and didn't want to eat and rejected all positive thoughts from her mind.
i wish i found a way to make her see that EVERYONE loves and cared for her..
it's all too late.
damn.

26th of march.
another tragic day.
no mood to type anymore.
later.
mel.

umm. lalalove. <3

2009-03-25T06:29:00.000-07:00

okay,
1st things 1st..
i think .....
i like someone.
hahhaha.

someone who's caring, sweet, funny.
ahhaha.

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh~

ahhahha.
he's not perfect but it's enough for me.
=)

chheeeeseeee.... dang.
ahhahahha.

he's so romantic too.
aawwwwwwwwwwww..
ahhahah
dang.

but..
i cant help but feel that.. the closeness he has with my bestest fren is disturbing.
umm..
i'm not trying to think of anything weird but..
it's like..
i don't know what i'm saying..
they're good frens!
why am i thinking this way..
this is wrong.

gonna go cool myself down.
bye.
mel.

today's entry is not given a name.

2009-03-16T05:53:00.000-07:00

i think by putting that heading for this entry i just gave it a title.
hahhahah.
don't you ever wonder why things are so ironic sometimes?

i've decided something.
i'm not going to be so picky with guys..

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm not going to just go out with guys from the street..
hahahha.

wonder why i change my mind??
well that's because..
i suddenly remmbered of the movie, "40-year-old virgin".
i'm not saying i don't wanna die a virgin or anything but..
i WANT to have kids.

i just think it's an important part of a woman's life to give birth to children.

hahah.
o yeah!
tomorro skipping work.
cos i'm goin to accompany my fren to an interview.
i'm going to inteview too i think.
ahhahahha.

then the day after that...........
*winks*

hahahhahhahahha.
'kay then,
later~!
mellllllars.

hiung hiung.

2009-03-14T01:26:00.000-07:00

m in office now.
m waiting for 3.30 to come.
m waiting to go home.
m bored.
(i know you don't feel anything, but i just typed the word 'bored' with a lot of "feeling".)
m being REALLY dramatic now.

i hate my now position in the office now.
SO BLOODY confusing.
dang.
whatever.

i wanna look for another job man.
damn it.

..
...

...
...

you see those dots up there?
i typed those dots cos i got nothing to say.

and those dots just gave me something to say in this entry.

lame, but helpful.

o yea,
m gonna use ma' "loss of words",
to do some promotion.

if you're a fan of slow, sad (or just slow) Japanese songs,
listen to Bolero and Wasurenaide.
both by Tohoshinki/TVXQ/DBSK.
and look for the translation for Wasurenaide through google.
i like the words to the song.

very ....
idk.

wth .
wups!
bell's gonna ring!
(can you believe it? this office uses a BELL to tell us when we have to start and end work.)
(i feel like i'm in primary school.)

later!
schmellars.

you wanna see something stoopid??? i give you STOOPID.

2009-03-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

WAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrIHe06ZqTQ

I LAUGHED TEN TRILLIONS KILOS OF LAUGHTER WATCHING THAT VIDEO.

gagaggagaa.
XD

ok, a quick summary.
i...
am still on the verge of tears when i come home.
(i still miss ya cookie.)

and i think i can't have another dog anymore.
i'll just cry evry time i lose one.
i get attached and emotional easily.

like even before seeing Cookie's corpse,
i was already crying on my way home.
like..
literally BAWLING.

my sister was annoyed.
but i can't help it..
i love Cookie.

i wanna finish watching gossip girl and heroes and 90210..
but i can't find time..
dang.
i havent even bought the dvd yet.
i feel like cutting my hair short.

but i'm a pussy.
wahhahha.
cos' i'm scared i'll regret it.
XD

dang dang dang.
whatever.
tired now.
later!
(dang these mozzies won't stop attacking me!)
smellllerrrr-ay-stoopid mosquito!!!!!

wth.

2009-03-07T04:34:00.000-08:00

i can't believe it.
she doesn't under stand at all.
she thinks i'm crazy for crying fur the death of Cookie.
damn it.
wth.

she even slammed the door.
can't she like,
leave me alone for a sec??
i only wanted to cry to myself for a while then move on!
she had to go poke the wound again and again by mentioning Cookie.
it's her fault lah if i started CRYING AND CRYING AGAIN!
CRAZY human.

whatever.
so what if i'm emotional and i get attached to things easily?!
she doesnt have to be that way!
i'm her daughter for goodness sake's!

damn it.
so pooped out.
later.

always remembered.

2009-03-07T04:13:00.000-08:00

dear Cookie,

i cried so much today. why'd you leave without saying goodbye?
why'd you break my heart?
why did you make me cry?
i loved you so so much.
you were smelly at times,
noisy most of the time and black always.
but i loved you.
though it's only been a short 2 years that you've been my best friend,
i will always love you and my love will never change.
if another dog comes,
it'll only be something to fill this gap you've left in my heart;
until the day i can finally let you go.
i taught you tricks,
i fed you,
and i bathed you.
i miss your ''handshakes'' and your barking when i come home form a tired day at work.
i miss the way you lick my hands when i pet your head.
i miss the way you would listen to me when i pour my heart out; after meeting a problem.
i miss the way you follow me to the gate.
i miss the way you coughed when you drank water too fast.
i miss the way your butt shakes everytime you wag your tail too hard.
i miss your funny antics when you play with mom.
i miss the way your fur feels.
i miss hugging you everynight when i come home from work.
i miss the smell of your fur.

you were my best friend, and you always will.
i love you Cookie,
it'll never end.

bummed.

2009-03-06T15:43:00.000-08:00

sorry have not been posting the past few days.
forgot.. and didn't feel like to.
hahaha.

well..
oniichan's not coming.
T__T
that's ok..
i'm sure i'll still get to see her next time!

next thing is..
i........
don't really have anything going on that's really interesting..
dang.
i make myself sound sooooooooo boring.

well, i have two penpals now.
umm..
one's from america and the other one's form korea.
heehee.
we met on skype.
hahah.
(they're all gurls btw.)
will tell everyone more when i actually do receive a letter from them.
wahhahhahha.

i'm hungray.
dang.
dang.
dang.

i feel like eating fried chicken.
dang.
dang.
dang.

i still don't get it sometimes you know..
some people pronounce 'skype' as 'skaip' and some pronounce as 'sky-pee'.
well, that didn't look right typed out.
like i'm trying to day the sky peed.
dang.
i'm so lame.

whatever.
am waiting for mother bird to come home form the market with "worms".
(meaning food for those who don't get it.)
and suddenly..

i'm missing someone...

don't know why..

oh well!
bah-bye!
simellerrrsa

heehee. just watch.

2009-03-03T16:23:00.000-08:00

a little something of one of the bands i'm listening to right now.

*PS:
the third guy who comes out,
that's MAX.
(fyi; if you didn't read my past blog entries, he's my fave member.)

whoa.. aren't i hardworking?

2009-03-03T06:17:00.001-08:00

miracle!
me posting two days in a row!

ahhah.
XD

feeel sooo sick..
nose is running NON-STOP.
dang.

i wanna skip work.
but then..
can't..
cos i'm skipping this saturday.
to pick ONICHAN up from the airport.

heeheeheeheeheeheehee.
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking happy!!
aghahahhahahha.

i havent been writing my book..
no time.
dang.
sorry fans!
please be patient!
(hahah. as if i have any~)

and also cant skip cos i wanna go to aussie for hols.
think next year then can go.

whahahha.
dang.

then some more i wanna buy a cam.
now i feel even worse.

dang.

haha.
am sooooooooooo tired.
but i cannot lose to fatigue!!
woooots!!!

0_0
am awake now.

dangs.

gtg sleep!
haha.
buh-bye!
schmellers.

back.

2009-03-02T02:19:00.000-08:00

absolutely RRRidiculous.
LOTSA ppl are leaving my uncle's mall and workshop.
i have NO idea why.

dang.

that's bad.
anyone wanna work there??
if you're a person who doesn't like to mingle with poor ppl,

DON'T work here.

i wouldn't say i'm NOT materialistic,
BUT..
i don't really see ppl's status to want to be their friend.
it's not logical or good for ppl to do that.

no matter what religion you come from.

dang.
hahahha.
i feel like a priest.
XD

my mom almost made me one last time.

and am thinking..

why are the guys that i'm not interested in, are interested in me.
it's just sooooo weird.

dang.
it's just so EFFING weird.

i do wish i can find my other half soon.
i actually plan to get mariied at the age of 23/24.
or 25.

not too late.
i don wanna be an old lady when i have babies.
hahah.

i'm in my mom's office now,
wondering what will happen to my life.

all's in God's hands.

amen.

haha.
i wanna go to australia..
but!!

i have noooo money.
dang.
will save 100 USD per month.
dang.
that will take a loooooooooooooooong time man.

crap.
whatever. at least i'm trying.

am beside *eh-hem* now.
he smells nice.
good thing he doesn't really speak much EL.
haha.

otherwise i'd be soooo DEAD now.

but i don't know why i don't really like him now.

direct translation of chinese saying;
''3 second-"

something.
i don't know how to translate the last 2 words.
ahah.
dang.

we ARE going to see each other EVERYDAY of the week this month.
and maybe next month too.
dang.
dang.
dang.

haha.
ohmahcheese..
i'm so bored here.
dang.
i'll go reply cbox comments first and if i still have time ltr,
i'll post another one.
=D

toodles!
(GAWSH. that's sooo gay. i'll stick with-)
Buh-bye!
(for the moment.)

schmellers.

whew. . .

2009-03-02T01:31:00.000-08:00

dang.
I'm really getting used to that word.
Hahahahha.

Dang,dang,dang.
Am typing wif ma fone now...
Jus to pass time.
Goin home in half an hour.
Will write entry later.

Buh-bye.
Schmellers.

memories. =)

2009-02-25T04:58:00.001-08:00

some pics i took with the nekos.
and some of them just of them alone.

hahha.
aawwww.. i miss 'em.
T____T

hannsheeeen n anyang.

me n meimei eating cracker. **

hannsheeeen n his stoopid head.

a granma n grandaughter moment. aawwww..

me n meimei with ferrero roses.
*p.s: i havent eaten them. toopretty to be eaten. wahhahha.

hannah n hannsheeen. the back of his head anyway.

another one with the roses.

hahah.
well,
that's all for now.

will post again when not busy or in a rush!
XD

toodies!
smellerrrrrrrs.

note.

2009-02-25T04:23:00.000-08:00

sorry the pics are sooooooo huge.
no time to minimise.

heehee.

XD

okay, afew stuff.

no.1:
stuff; is not a word.
according to mr. ratish..

lame i know.

fine.
no.2:
i umm..
well,..
we're not fighting anymore.
hahaha.
i know it's dumb and evrything but,
i don't know why.
i felt like i HAD to give him another chance.

oh well,
for now, THAT is what i wanna' do.
i'll face the consequences ltr.

no.3:

ONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAN'S COMING!!!!!

N IT'S CONFIRMED!!!!!!

OMEEGOSHOHMEEGOSHOHMEEGOSH!!!

I'M SUUUUUUUU FREAKING OUT!!!!
OHGEESOHGEESOHGEESOHGEES!!
dang.
i'm actually hyperventilating now.
dang.
and giggling REAL hard.

hahahha.
ohwell.
XD

dang.

but i do feel kinda' stoopid for forgiving that guy.
i don't know.
so confused.

he does smell good.
haha.

toodles!
schmellerrrrrrrrrrs.

what was i thinking.

2009-02-20T01:11:00.000-08:00

feelings all lost.
gawsh that a-hole is such a drama king.

he thinks i'm gonna give him more attention??
nah.
dream on.
no wonder your gf dumped you.

so... immature.
and not understanding.

i'm so fuc*ing irritated by that piece of shithole man.
damn.
go bitc* on someone else!
crap.
today's a bad day to PISS me man.
m havin ma' period.

so that's why i'm in supernova-cursing mode.

m superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr cranky.

no one can touch me.
XD
hahahha.

i told him i was goin out wif my bestfren (a guy),
he got angry...
says i dont wanna go out wif him cos he rides a motorbike n not a car.
says he's sick of me..

wat the fuc*ing hell right???!!!

that ass-like piece of shithole.

damn.
CRAP.

TOO PISSED TO BLOG.
Toodles!!
schmellers.

omgee.

2009-02-16T04:14:00.000-08:00

okayyyyy...
lotsa stuff happened.

well not alot.
hehehe.
probbly just a few stuff.

umm..

i have no idea why..
but..

i'm gettin closer to ...

the designer dude who works under my mom.
dang.

i ust replied one of his msgs man.
dang.

it's so effing wrong man.
dang.

what the hell am i doing man.
dang.

i lost 100 000 rupiah this aftrnoon man.
dang.

then my mom exploded man.
dang.

then i became unsure cos i was thinking i gave it to the taxi driver man.
dang.

then ny tummy hurt man.
dang.

i wanted to fart man.
dang.

but i didn't man.
dang.

i asked my mom for a car again man.
dang.

she said 'no man' man.
dang.

why the hell m i typing dang all the time man.
dang.

dang.
i don'know whas wrong with my brain man.
dang.
i was trying to remmber so hard that the left side of my brain hurt.
LITERALLY.

dang.
i gotta go scan my brain man.
dang.
i feel so bummed out man.
dang.

how many times have i typed dang?
18.
wait.. 19. plus the one in the question.

hahaha. XD

oh well.
am rrrrrrrrrrrreally tired now.

dang.
now it's 20.
toodies!!
~smeellllersss

I give up.. Men.

2009-02-12T19:05:00.000-08:00

ya know something,
i felt reeeeally lazy to go to work today.

cant open my eyes.

so freaking tired.

i told my mom i didn't wanna go to work.

n she didnt give a damn.

so i went to work, sulking.

then i thought...
nothing's gonna' change anyway.

so i sucked it all up,
and pasted on a smile on my face.

and then it made me realise,
liking some guy in korea who certainly is WAY out of my league,
(duh! he's a celebrity!)
is TOTALLY useless.
yea he's cute and stuff but sometimes it's no use mooning over someone who will never be in your life when you need someone most.

i feel so.. useless.
like this dumb brain always chooses those guys that i know i can never get.
dang.

maybe that's what makes them so attractive.
it's because i can't get them.
hahahhah.
but it doesn't work on everyone though.

from this day onwards,
i'll try to appreciate anything that comes my way.

and not to always judge a book by it's cover.

hope i remmber those few pointers.
hah!

well,
no more posting photos of max.
no more goin bonkers over him.

i think i'm gonna ban myself from looking at boybands.

or hunky vampires.

CRAP.

oh well,
toodles!
schMELLLAHS

walawala bingbang.

2009-02-09T23:44:00.000-08:00

am hungry, sleepy and bored.
terrific combination huh??

valentines' comin soon.
but it's gonna be shit-day for me this year again.

CRAP.

2 years straight now.
dang.

i thought this year would be better.
i thought i would've someone with me this year.

guess not.

aarrrrrrrrrrrggggh~~!
dang.

whatever.
all i need are my friends and family.
gotta stop picking..
and start accepting.

but i can't help iiiiiitt~~~~`~~~
sometimes i just DON'T LIKE the guy.
aaaargh.

damn it.
stupid brain of mine.

i wish i were prettier though.

like .....

Anne Hathaway.

she's gorgeous man.

hahahhhahha.

i don wanna look like Madonna.
she has weird cheekbones.
hahahahahha.

XD

wellll~~~~~

the guy i talked to you about..
he ALREADY has a gf.
so i'm trying to NOT hope.

ahhaha.
well good thing is,

i have someone else to take over him.

MAX SHIM CHANGMIN.

weeeeee...
so freaking handsome.
n cute!!

and he's tall!!
186 cm!!
wahahhahahha.
man i wish i had a bf like that.
ahhahah.
XD
okay thenn..

i'll post again some other day.
TOODS!!
~schmellerrrrrrrsch

blog quickie.

2009-02-02T16:58:00.000-08:00

okay, quick one before i 'hit the road' again.
lol.

umm.
i seperated myself from the A-HOLE.
and is now sitting beside the person i ORIGINALLY sat with.
YAY!!!!

XD

then...
i have this teeny tiny little crush on someone.
he works as a graphic designer.
*giggles*

okay..
maybe not sooooo tiny..

but i think he has a gf already.

*pouts*

whatever.
it doesn't mean i can't talk to him...
or be his friend..
or stare at him.

ahah.
wups!
bell's rung!

GTG.
toods!
mellies

OH JEEZ. (part 2)

2009-01-27T07:13:00.000-08:00

*continue*
i just feel sometimes maybe it's because i'm chinese,
they're like..
they just don't be themselves when they're with me.
and the guy who's my senior,
he's officially one of the hated guys in my office.
dang.

i HATE him.
creep-freak-human.
whatever.

i'm abit nasty to him and sometimes i kinda see why he doesn't dare go against me.
it's because my uncle's his boss.
hahah.
the one who pays him.

yeha,
he's an ASS-LICKER.
n he likes to read what i type.
so F***ING ANNOYING.
like,
get a life u loser.
stop being such a busybody.

after all this talk about him,
i bet he's sneezing alot now.

my uncle asked me to do some big stuff that has to be finished this week.
crap.
by this week, it means friday.
*sigh*
haahhah.

oh yeah,
i met my fren, didi, at the mall today.
my mom had to go meet someone from the mall so we went to his office and when we were walking to the parking lot, i met him.
ahhah.
so shocked.
*grins*

oh and theres this cute guy working in the KTM (koja trade mall) with my mom and he's kinda cute.
but too bad he's like..
a local. meaning not chinese.
not trying to say i'm a rascist but i bet you he wont even come near me.
because they kinda dont like us chinese.
but i know a few GOOD people whho are not chinese but are very nice to us.
one of 'em is even considered one of my best frens(Ucha)!!

hahahha.

sorry to take such a long time to update.
feeling very tired lately.
i sometimes feel like sleeping n never wake up.
hahahha.
or jus lead a life where all i do is go out wif my frens.

stupid brain of mine.
keeps on thinking about playing.
wahahhahahhah.
XD

intconnectn's really slow.
it's bugging me alot man.
X(

OH JEEZ. get a grip. (part 1)

2009-01-23T16:08:00.000-08:00

okay, quick post before my mom comes down and we got to work.

niiuuuuuuws felaaaashhhh:
no.1;
i m workin' with my uncle now.
he's okay i guess.
but the job is sooooooper boring.

no.2;
i hate the guy who's my senior.
he got called to work at my dprtment because well,
my uncle thought that he needed that stinking guy to teach me.
well, the result is in me not liking him.
you know why??
i think he's a bit SICK in his mind.
it's like,
he's such and attention seeker!
omgosh.
i think if my uncle were to ask me if i wanted to continue after my probation period is over and i find out i still have to work with THAT guy,

i will absolutely get my ASS outta' there.

jeez.

no.3;
my new work place,
it is umm..
full of locals.
that is not really good (in a way) because i am like..
sooooooo not the same as them.
i'm not being a racist or anything but well,
i feel like a pain for the eyes there.

to make things worst,
i'm my uncle's niece.
so it's like,
they shun me even more.
who knows what they do behind my back?
probly just b**** about me.

but that's not the thing i'm REALLY worried about.
what i'm worried about is that..
maybe they'll try to like,
all get united to go against me.

it's just all so freaky.

whoa..
i think i hear my mom coming down.
i'll continue later in the evening.

i finish my whole story.
=D

toodies!
mellscouldbeindeepsh*t.

las, las, and more las.

2009-01-18T21:01:00.000-08:00

i am absolutely F***ing bored.
dang.

news flash:
-my neighbourhood is FLOODED.
-umm.. idk the real word in english (would someone tell me).. well, the petrol/gas deposit place exploded.

this 2 events may cause a blackout in my WHOLE neighbourhood.

AND...

worst thing is,
I'M HUNGRY.

dang..
hahahha.

oh well..
pray for me guys.
i hope they don't shut down the electricity supply for my neighbourood.
*SIGH*

now i really feel like migrating to australia or somethin'.

HAHA.
toodies!
gtg munch somethin'.
mells.

new post.

2009-01-18T00:01:00.000-08:00

sooooo drained out of brain juice.
i usedup tons to go write half of chapter 1.
man.. this is sooooooooo tiring. haha.
i'm learning to make my blog better. hehe.
so u ppl who read my blog feels comfy with it.

muahahahah!
sorry for my weird taste in music though. haha.
(sometimes i do think my mind's abit messed up.)
whatever.

i'm so bored.
i can't seem to write any good stuff when i'm bored.
man... crap.
*sigh*
wtheck.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR SIMS 3!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
i'm sooooooo excited..
it looks so effin' cool! (i'm not a game freak but i love this game.)
i don't usually play games cos my mom would scream her top off if she finds out i'm playin comp games.
luckily, she's not good with computers. so she wouldn't know if the apps in this mac are games or not.
HAHAHAHAHA!

well,
gtg rot n (not literally) die.

toods,
mells.

what tha'?

2009-01-14T23:24:00.000-08:00

douche.
i like that word.
i mean,
the sound of it.
ahhahahah.
maybe that's why i've beeen meaning to learn french.
i like to do toungue twisters.
MUAHAHAHAHA.

okay,
these few days,
'nada' things to do.
but,
am glad. in a way.
cause i don't have to go to work.
AND,
i can relax at home.
weee~

still thinking on which school i'm gonna enter next..
i'm a little late but wadevaaaa'.
hhahahah.

i'm only (going to be soon) 18.
so.. i'm gonna take things slow a little.
=D

downloading songs..
but the stupid website suddenly said they have to close the website for 2 hours.
crap.

oh well,
gonna go watch vids on youtube.
(gettin' boring now.)

toodles.
melllshh

2009-01-14T07:23:00.000-08:00

okay.
i am officially ashamed of myself.
haha.

didn't mean to break my promise but um..
i'm TOTALLY sorry am not blogging as often as i had said.
:D

wel,
lots (again) have been hapenin'.
i um.. quit my current job. and am already employed.(agaiiiiiiiin~)
crap.
just when i thought i could continue my studies.
hahah.
well,
i wanna go study hotel management and hospitality whatever ladida.
(i have no idea what the major's name is but i know i wanna do it for the rest of my friggin' lyfe.)
haha.
jk jk.
don know how long i will be in that industry but i will try to STAY COMMITTED.

and ,
i have OFFICIALLY lost ideas on how to write my book.
CRAP AGAIN.

wth do i think i'm doin. haha.

it's like, raining all the time here.
and i don't know what's wrong with me,
but i feel....

happier.
maybe my mind's aaaa BIT messed up.
ahahhaha.
i'm trying to figure out how to use this blog stuff.
all i know is how to post entries.
hahahha..

mei mei's the one who didthe background stuff.
hahah.

speaking of wich,
i miss her man.
hahah.
it's kinda late now but um..
i didn't get to sing her (and my dear mama ->anyang) a burfday song!

my voice is horrible but please bear with it.
=D
*clears throat*

hhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaape burfdaytouuuuuuuuuu
haaaaaaaaappy bu-rrr-fday to uuuuuuu..
happeeeeeee burfffday happeee burfdaaaaaa-eeeeeeeeee~
HAPPE BURFDAY,
TO UUUUUUUUUUU (TWOO)..

lave ya guys. hehe.
n of corse,
the other nekos too.

OH btw!
HANNAH~!
WHAT THA~?!
Y ARE U HOME-SCHOOLING NOW???
(is it because of an unwanted boyfriend ur parents are trying to seperate u from??)
haha.
jkjk.

toodles,
muuuuaaamuuuaaaahhh~
schmellers.

2008-12-24T08:19:00.000-08:00

typo mistake.

it should be *PUTTING in songs into ma new phone*

heehee.
wups,
XP

HAVE A HO-HO-HAWESOME CHRISTMAS!! XD

2008-12-24T07:48:00.000-08:00

here i am..
in my 'study',
composing an entry..
heehee.

yes everyone,
from tonight onwards i will not be excused from not posting an entry.
well..
it'll be different once i start studying n a new college.

wich is ..
I DONO WHEN.

ahahha.
well.
whatever.
i dunno why but i don feel the need to rush.
=3

okay,
news update.
i am STILL single.
i did go to s'pore and m'sia a few days ago n came back after staying there a few days. (soory if i forgot to tell any of u guys cos i was kinda in a rush.)
i, changed my phone. (no more 5610.)
and..
i.. well..

am still stuck with my job.
at least i got a new phone.
wich, btw,
I TOTALLY LOVE.
it's BEE-YOND awesome.
it's not perfect,
but it is REALLY CLOSE to being perfect.

well..
i thank GOD anyway.
especially because God has done so much for me.
*sniffles*
i'm so touched.(by what he has done for me.)

as i'm typing this,
i'm also outting in songs to ma new phone,
and..
thinking of some plot for my book.

yes,
my own book.
i am going to write it.
and i WILL try NOT to give up halfway.
unlike all my other projects.
haha.

wish me luck.
i wan it to be umm..
love mixed with action.
still trying to put it all together.

(PEOPLE WHO READ MY BLOG PLEASE POST SOME IDEAS. THANK YOU.)=3

well,
it's really late now.
will post another entry if i'm not too sleepy tomorrow after church.

God Bless
&
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

thatha,
mel.

ai-yai-yaiiiii~

2008-11-11T00:07:00.000-08:00

heehee.
ya noe sumtin'..
i'm bloggin now cos the she-devil ain't here.

ha..ha..ha..
XD

man i'm sittin so much that my back hurts.
like a lao-amma.
hahahahhahahahahahahah.
=3

ya noe sumtin,
i kinda made up a name..
it's a mixture between Zac Efron and Joe Jonas.
cos ya noe..
when people ask me which stars do i idolise or sumtin',
i just answer them,"Fronas".
it's easier to remmeber anyway.
hahaha.
XD

gosh.
i'm being so lame right now.
so lame i think people will puke at me when they read this entry.

reminds me of this morning.
i told my brother not to rub vick's in his nose.
and he totally did.
not a little bit.
but one whole chunk of vick's jell.
hahahhaha.

XD
then he screamed.
why??

cause it was too minty lah duuuuuhh~~

ahahhahahahha.
man.
feel like goin hm already..
and it's only like..
2 hrs after lunch.
oh boy..
this is gonna be a lo0oooooooong day.
-_____________________________________-

nyyyyaaaaaaaahh~~~~!!!

2008-11-10T17:12:00.000-08:00

ok..
here goes..
quick entry before she-devil comes..

some announcements:
-will not be blogging for a looooooooong time.
(probablylike, a few weeks. maybe a month.)

-will not reply cbox comments.
(same duration.)

-WILL FEEL MISERABLE TILL THEN.
(same duration too)

OMG.
i am really freaking out right now.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH~~~

why why why?????????
why does she have to come baaaaack???????

oh wait.
it's because she feels like she owns a part of this company.
(which is SO NOt true.)

i think i hear her coming..
cause i can feel her "auraaaa~~"

toodles!
XD

tomorrow's "dooms"day.

2008-11-09T21:57:00.000-08:00

Starting tomorrow,

i will not have many happy days.

ya know why?

cos the she-devil will be back.
she's my senior and i know it's wrong to like,
say bad things about her but,
wtheck..
not sayin this because i hate her,

i just..
kinda don't like her.

not because she's uptight,

because she's WAY WAY WAAAAY uptight.
and i ain't kiddin.

man..
i think she's got a wedgie that even a surgery CAN'T remove that's why she's sooooooooooo uptight.

shheeess~

i wish i can like,
free her from that wedgie.
ahhahahhah.

then maybe she'll stop comin onto my arse so much.
XD

why am i always so sarcastic these days????
i think it's the after-period thing.
hmm..

that's bad.

haha.

my other senior, the good one, just told me that if i made another mistake,
i am gonna have to pay 25 bucks.
US DOLLARS.
that'll be like ..
275,000 rupiah..

that's quite a sum ya know..
over here.

shucks.
i gotta be more careful.
heehee.
=3

gtg!
my BIG boss is on ma' ass now.
shit.
-______________-

a really nice story* (not because i'm a christian. it's because it's logical.)

2008-11-06T18:44:00.001-08:00

Science and God

'Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ.' The atheist
professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his
new students to stand.

'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir,' the student says.

'So you believe in God?'

'Absolutely.'

'Is God good?'

'Sure! God's good.'

'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'

'Yes.'

'Are you good or evil?'

'The Bible says I'm evil.'

The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a
moment.

'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you
can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'

'Yes sir, I would.'

'So you're good...!'

'I wouldn't say that.'

'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if
you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He
doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even
though he prayed to Jesus to heal him How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can
you answer that one?'

The student remains silent.

'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of
water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

'Let's start again, young fella Is God good?'

'Er...yes,' the student says.

'Is Satan good?'

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'

'Then where does Satan come from?'

The student : 'From...God...'

'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there
evil in this world?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything,
correct?'

'Yes.'

'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created
everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to
the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'

Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues:
'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible
things, do they exist in this world?'

The student: 'Yes.'

'So who created them?'

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his
question. 'Who created them? There is still no answer. Suddenly the
lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is
mesmerized.

'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in
Jesus Christ, son?'

The student's voice is confident: 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you
use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen
Jesus?'

'No sir. I've never seen Him'

'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'

'No, sir, I have not.'

'Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or
smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus
Christ, or God for that matter?'

'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

'Yet you still believe in him?'

'Yes.'

'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable
protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that,
son?'

'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'

'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem
science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a
question of his own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'

'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'

'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there's cold too.'

'No sir, there isn't.'

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested.
The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain.

'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat,
mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we
don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below
zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is
no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the
lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when
it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have
or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat.
You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of
heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units
because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the
absence of it.'

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom,
sounding like a hammer.

'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as
darkness?'

'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night
if it isn't darkness?'

'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the
absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have
Nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to
define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able
to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him.
This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'

'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is
flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time.
'Flawed? Can you explain how?'

'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student
explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good
God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something
finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a
thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much
less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life
is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive
thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'

'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they
evolved from a monkey?'

'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young
man, yes, of course I do'

'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he
realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work
and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you
not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a
preacher?'

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the
Commotion has subsided.

'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other
student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'

The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class
who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into
laughter.

'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain,
felt the professor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain? No
one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of
empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no
brain, with all due respect, sir. So if science says you have no brain,
how can we trust your lectures, sir?'

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the
student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I
guess you'll have to take them on faith.'

'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists
with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as
evil?'

Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We
see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man.
It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world.
These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'

To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at
least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God.
It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe
the absence of God.

God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when
man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold
that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there
is no light.'

The professor sat down.

Pass this on if you have faith in God.
If not, still pass it on for it's a good story!

--
I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. - C. S. Lewis

aren't i a little too "bright"?

2008-11-06T17:28:00.001-08:00

well,well
it's like,
umm..
8.49 a.m here in indo..
i reached the office at like ..
7.45.

THE LIGHTS WEREN'T EVEN FUGGIN' ON YET!!!!!

i'm sooooo gonna wake up at 6 a.m tomorrow..
maaaaaaaaayybee not also..
better early then late eih?
=3

i read ytd's newsppr today.
about Obama's victory..
but i actually kinda' admire the two Davids behind Obama's victory more then Obama himself. they're like.. everything he's done.
i mean like..
they were the ones who came up with the strategies that Obama used to win the elections.

so aren't they like, smarter than Obama?

whatever.

okkaayyy..
enough with this whole politics thingy.

nothin's happening. in my life.
not literally
the normal-oh-so-boring things happen but..

the cool-funky-fun stuff's not.
and that SUCKS.
BIG FUGGIN' TIME.

i kinda wanna be a doctor now.

hahahha.
women who are pregger's doctor.
the gyneecologists or sumtin.
i dunno how to spell it.
hahahhaha.
XD

i also feel like being umm..

a vet.

so i can play with the cute kitties and puppies all freakin' day.
hahah.

as usual i have to face 'JUNO' here in my office.
man that baby's givin her lotsa temper.
sometimes i just wanna squeeze that foetus out of her so that she can like..
stop being soooooooo bossy.
oh wait,

i think without that foetus she would still be bossy and an ass-licker.

if you like to lick asses so much,
you should lick that crazy lady's ass.
the one i met this morning.
walking down the street.

NAKED.

eeeeeewwww~~~
her mountains and jungle were like..
seen by this entire universe.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW~~~~~~~~~~
i need to go for a brainwashing session.
hahah
to forget that DISGUST-o image.
BLEGH.
DX

well..
gotta go "work".
hahah.
no customers yet.
=3

another post my my dearest beloved meimei.. =3

2008-11-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

from: meimei dearest

I'm really really touched T-T
I'll miss you foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~ sigh.
Posting pictures from before,
the more i look at them
the more i'll start to miss those days! ):

*2006
You were teaching me how to smile to the camera!
Ahahahas :D

*2007
SNAP!
Was in the morning tying our hair!tgt we're always the first two customers visiting the school toilet!
Crazy times ! Nyahaha !
& Edited by you :D
IMY SISTER!

*This is how school is like so far (:
Pictures dated 29th Sep and 16th October.
Gagagagagas. Missing you lots,
YingLing.

*link to see real post
http://www.grief-afortnight.blogspot.com/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dear meimei dearest,

i feel like we're in the early 20th century where there is no such things like e-mail or ..
sms..

hahahha.
XD
but this is fun though.
heehee.

yeah..
ireally missed those times..
when i read your post,
i kinda..

wanted to cry.

i didn't know how much i missed ya till i read that post.
X')
well..
i'm kinda speechless now.
hahahha.

(and i'm usually not speechless.) =3

i start to remmeber the songs we used to sing tgther in the bus.
tghter wif the other nekos.
hahah

high school never ends..
hahah.
remember?
XD

then we would go buy choco flavoured bb tea.
hahah.
then buy lots of snacks...
french fries..
hahahha.
man..
really miss those times.
hahah

feelin' sad cos..
lots of the pix we took are gone!!!
my hp's software needed to be updated the other time and the stupid nokia ppl formatted my fone.
CRAP.

so most of the data that was in the fone were gone.
*poof*
ahhah

i remmeber we used to take LOADS of lame crappy pix tghter.
hhhahahhaha.
XD
like we were insane already or sumtin'.

teeheehee.

what bands have you been listening to lately?
i LOVE the Jonas Brothers now.
hahahha.

pawprints;
mellie (wholovesyou) =3

2008-11-05T18:20:00.000-08:00

i bloody fuggin' miss my frens.

from all over the world.
by that i just meant s'pore and m'sia and those in sch here in indo.

hahahah.
XD

man..
it's beacuse of this STUPID JOB i can't go see my frens..

but.. wtheck..
i wanted this job aniway.
hahahah.

i wish i could be wif you guyyssss....
=3

umm.. huh?

2008-11-05T17:25:00.000-08:00

since it's still 8.30 am in indo here,
i'm gonna say ," Gud murnink world!"

lots of people talking today..
actually,

since..
what?
few months ago?
since the whole election-of-america's-new-president started.

whoawhoa~
i'm not tryin to say anything bad..

i was just going to congratulate America and her new president..

*BARRACK OBAMA*
did i spell his name right?

Congratulations, and jubilations..
lalalalalalalalalalalala~~

whatever.

aniwaysss...
did you see the dress the new first lady was wearing?
bold choice madame..
but abit tooooo bold.
the cutting of the dress is totally fine
infact it is pretty but..

umm.
that red spot in the middle of the dress?
it seemed as though she just came out of a horror movie.
ya know,
when the blood splatters on your body and face when someone's head or body is chopped.
i kinda like the person wearing the dress but the dress itself?
maaaybeee not.

but maybe some emo girl who's trying to look fancy will wanna wear the dress.
you still look beautiful Mrs. Obama.
=3

hmm..
today will be abit Boring..

(as usual.)
hahaha.

i'll just sit here..
and feel totally useless.
i know workin' here is good cause i can help alot of people but..
i'm just not feelin' this job.
maybe i'll quit in a year.

can't quit now cause mee uncle was the one who pulled some strings to get me this job.
wouldn't be nice if i quit so fast.
right??

man..
so confused~

a tribute to my dear meimei.

2008-11-04T22:49:00.001-08:00

dear meimei..

this blog wouldn't be around if it weren't you who asked me to make this thingy.
hahahhahah.
i'm workin' as i'm typin this entry and i want you to know that i miss you and that you'll never be forgotten.
i wish i can go back there now!!!
hahahhahah.

but i have to work so...
nah~
can't go.
hahahah.

i always thot we were two peas in a pod.
not from the same biological pod(parents) though.

i wish we were.
then we would be able to have fun with each other EVERYDAY fuggin' day.
hahah.
=3

ily meimei.
miss ya loadss.

our secret laugh together "gagagagagagagagaga."

pawprints,
mellie

a tribute to my dear meimei.

2008-11-04T22:49:00.000-08:00